Teen Drivers: Tips For Keeping Them Safe and You Sane
I turned 16 on a Thursday. I got my driver’s license on that Friday and on Saturday I proudly drove myself to school in the morning to take my ACT college entrance exams. I drove cautiously with my hands at 10 and 2 and made it into the parking lot completely unscathed. As I pulled into the spot, some classmates teased that I wasn’t properly parked. I reversed the car to park again perfectly and to show those jokers just how competent I really was behind the wheel.
Oh, I showed them.
I hit the gas instead of the brake and knocked the Spanish teacher’s Toyota Celica completely out of the parking spot in front of mine. I only made it 17 hours into having my license before I had my first accident and did poorly on my ACT test. For the rest of my Junior year, I was known as “the one that crushed Coach Drake’s car.” It was a humiliating and expensive lesson to learn.
It didn’t matter that I was a straight-A student, mature for my age and very responsible. The fact is, the parts of the brain that weigh risks, make judgments and control impulsive behavior are still developing through the teen years and don’t mature until about age 25.
Luckily in my case no one was hurt, but in many incidents where teen drivers are involved that’s not the case. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for U.S. teens. This is a frightening statistic and one that I could not overlook with a policeman as a husband reminding me of such data, and a son that was counting the days till he turned 16.
It was a milestone that he eagerly awaited, and I anxiously dreaded. Although he took Driver’s Ed, completed 40 hours of permit driving with a licensed adult and passed his test with a 97%, we’re taking his driving freedom very slowly, and he has strict guidelines to which he needs to adhere. If he slacks on his household chores or does poorly on an exam in school, the first thing to go are his driving privileges.
Here are a few more rules that have helped us feel more comfortable with him behind the wheel (and he’s already gone longer than I did before his first accident):
- One friend in the car at a time.
This may seem extreme, but kids goof around; plain and simple. The more teens in the car, the more likely that the driver will feel a need to show-off or impress others by speeding or driving erratically.
- Never text or talk on the phone while the car is in drive.
This has gotten a lot of press lately, and for good reason. Phones divert attention from focusing on being smart and defensive on the road. However, I do have a rule that he have his phone with him at all times and call me when he arrives at his destination. This usually helps set my mind at ease.
- Limited night driving.
Unless there is an emergency, or it’s a very short distance, we do not allow him to drive after dark. Studies have shown that new drivers (with less than a year of driving experience) who aren’t allowed to drive at night are significantly less likely to get into an accident.
- No driving under the influence.
This should go without saying and we’ve all heard it before, but it bears repeating. As much as it pains me to think that my son would be so dumb to make such choices, we were all young once and have all made mistakes and errors in judgment.
He also has a pact with my mom to call her if he should find himself unable to drive or riding with a driver that is impaired- it’s agreed that it will stay their little secret and that’s OK with me. I’d rather him be safe. An agreement like this with a trusted adult (other than mom and dad) may help take the fear of judgment and “getting in trouble” from the parents out of the equation.
One license down, four more to go. Teen driving is proving to be an ongoing learning experience. For the both of us.
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Tena, Self & Body Editor. Tena is the exact opposite person she thought she'd be twenty years ago, back when she had hopes and dreams and no stretch marks. Five kids later, she realizes she's no longer a Type- A mom, and is trying to recover some of herself that she lost in the rearing of children. She writes candidly about her life, kids, struggles with depression, and makes no apologies for her love of chocolate cake and anything on Bravo. 
This is a very timely post…what with Ryan Dunn’s death this week. It’s really important to teach our children that safe driving is the ONLY kind of driving they should be doing.
Good point, Ali! I wrote this before that incident. How terrifying were those pictures? I get chills just thinking about it.
My parents were SO strict when I got my drivers license- I hated it at the time, but it did pay off in the long run. They didn’t allow me any friends in the car for 6 months (boo), no radio or cell phone ever (the radio rule eventually eased up) and my Dad took me to the Air Force base and made me drive my car as fast as it would go (ahhhh) and then slam on the brakes to see just how LONG it took to stop. Excellent lesson for your first trip driving on the interstate and you hit traffic while you are going 60 mph. I was also in charge of driving my parents everywhere for about 6 months, which got me LOTS of boring practice time.
Exactly, Daisy. My parents were NOT strict and see what happened to me.
I have what seems like a long time (14 years) before boyo gets his license (though I’m sure that, 14 years from now, I’ll be wringing my hands and lamenting “Where did the time go?!!?), but these are some great tips! I didn’t have to worry about cell phones (I was licensed in 1995, haha!), but I, too, got into my first accident relatively quickly after I was licensed (about two weeks, I think, maybe not even that long). And since we didn’t have a lot of money, we couldn’t replace the headlight right away, so for about 3 months, I couldn’t drive at night because I didn’t have headlights, which was probably for the best, haha! (In a related story, I was often the dd for my friends, so I spent a lot of time driving their cars at night, but I never got into any more accidents.) I also like the idea of calling grandma and it being “their little secret”. I was a good kid, but I made some really stupid decisions in that regard as a young adult and I worry (in advance) about my son, whom I love more than anything, making those same stupid decisions.
I was licensed in 1988, so no cell phones either. I am so glad we have them nowadays- as long as they use them responsibly, it really takes a lot of the guess work out of things like wondering if they got there safely.
You bring up a good point, not having money, heh. That is another one of my son’s requirements. He needs to be financially responsible for his usage of the car… that includes gas, his own insurance, and, God forbid, any accidents he may have will be his responsibility.
NC is doing what your saying by law. We have a graduated liscence system and you have to make it to 18, violation free, to get an unrestricted liscence. Hey, we got at least one thing right!
http://www.hsrc.unc.edu/safety_info/young_drivers/gdl_overview.cfm
I love that idea. When I was 16, I would have cried a river and called myself an old fuddy duddy, but not any more! Sixteen is too young to drive unless it is on a learning and practice basis, in my opinion.
I didnt get my license until I was 18 and didnt really drive until I was 19. My first real trip driving by myself was to Wal Mart. I was terrified when it came time to back out of the parking spot. I was ok driving in the dark and rain because it was a torrential downpour at night when I took my driving test. I honestly think waiting later to drive made me a better driver. Ive been driving for 5 years and KNOCK ON WOOD Ive never had a ticket or been in an accident. Ive been pulled two times and neither of them were really my fault. (Once driving with no headlights at dusk in a well lit area in a friends car, and once for expired tags on a borrowed car). While going through recruiting for the Army, my recruiter couldnt believe my literally spotless driving record.
I think the restrictions you are putting on your son are great no matter how much he whines!
I think it’s smart to take your time, to an extent. My mom had me at 16 and so driving wasn’t really on her radar like most 16 year olds. By the time she was 20 and started learning to drive, she was a nervous wreck, and because of it, had lots of accidents. I think 18 is perfect to start feeling it out.
And how did you know my son whines about my rules? He so does.