Time to “Unfriend” Your Friends? (I’m Not Talking about Facebook)
This past week has been crazy.
My best friends are dropping from my life like flies.
I seem to have friend cycles. The cycle runs for about ten years, and then it is time for a change. So it looks like it may be time to find some new friends for the next ten years, and I am accepting applications and holding interviews as we speak. So far, my new Internet Friends are leading the way. It’s amazing the types of people you meet when you open yourself up to the entire world and stop limiting yourself to people you meet in your hometown. Plus, I recently found out that my whole hometown hates me because I write about them on the Internet, so it kind of works out.
I guess it all comes down to trust. Trust is a two-way street. If they can’t trust me, I am done (like my hometown… but the stories are priceless, funny, and totally worth the loss of friends). If I can’t trust them, they are done. Once trust has left the building, it is very hard to rebuild, and quite frankly, I don’t have time to work on a relationship that is not with my husband. I don’t see people turning to “BFF Therapy” when they have problems, so I am pretty sure I am not alone in saying that if it isn’t working with a friend, people tend to give up.
I don’t think I am being unreasonable or catty. I have just had it with the drama. I am 31 years-old. I have three children and a husband. As far as I’m concerned, my family is the most important thing to me. And when that gets threatened… I will cut a bitch. Like, for real.
So let me break it down, here is why I recently dumped my best friend like I dumped that guy in high school with too much acne after his zit popped on my face while we were making out. Trust me, it was swift and to the point.
My best friend was hitting on my husband.
MY BEST FRIEND WAS HITTING ON MY HUSBAND!
At first, I was thinking to myself that I was just being jealous because she is so pretty and witty. So I said nothing. But then, little things kept happening. A text message here, a smile there. I thought I was going crazy.
Was I just being weird? Self conscious because I have been cheated on before in a past relationship? Possessive? Psychotic? Is she just naturally flirtatious and I never realized it before?
I confronted her. She was defensive. Not apologetic. Not seeing what I was saying. She even went as far as to tell me that my husband said that he loves me more than anything and would never do anything to jeopardize that. Really? He said that? That’s sweet, and it’s obvious that he wants to keep his wiener in tact (because he knows I will chop that thing off if he ever misuses it and then take him for all he is worth). But what was she doing to prompt him to say that? Dudes don’t talk like that. Let’s just be honest.
I decided to talk to my husband and let him know how I was feeling. Do you want to know what he said? HE WAS SEEING THE SAME THINGS! As a matter of fact, she was even doing more than I was aware of. He wanted to tell me about her advances, but he was worried that I would get rid of her like I did his dog after the damn thing ate my $300 leather boots and then crapped out pieces of it on my white carpet (he knows I have no patience for things that stink or are messy, it’s a wonder the children have survived this long).
So that was it. She seemed stinky and messy to me.
I am the Casting Director of my life. She played a role in this not-all-access production. I don’t think I had any choice but to fire her from my life.
I feel like I am in high school all over again. I feel like I am fighting to keep my man. I feel like I have hives, and I itch all over.
This person was the Maid of Honor in our wedding. This person held my hair while I puked in college. This person held my hand when Sy died, and I was left as a single mother. This person came to the hospital when my babies were born.
Given all of that, how can I be so quick to cut her out of my life?
I’ll tell you. I will not stand by and watch someone try to take what I have worked so hard to get. I will not allow someone to disrupt the happy family that I am raising. I will not let her have my husband.
Another good friend (one of the remaining few) told me that maybe she is just jealous of what my husband and I have together. We still hold hands. We go on dates. We kiss in public. We smile, laugh, and have fun. And maybe she just sees him as a way of getting all of that.
Jealousy or not, I am not taking chances.
She is being cut out of my life like the piece of gum I cut out of my hair when I was in Kindergarten (it left a bald spot).
So tell me, this is your chance (be anonymous if you would feel more comfortable). What has prompted you to get rid of a good friend? How did you know it was time? Do you want to cut a bitch? And am I being totally out of line about this?
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Meredith Soleau was supposed to be a famous country singer, but her parents made her go to college and major in something “real.” She graduated with a B.S. in business, and landed a gig as a Human Resources Director at a large car dealership in Ohio. 
i have chosen to remove friends from my life for various reasons but mostly because they were toxic. when i stepped back and looked at what the relationship was providing me, there was nothing. it was all about them. every situation, every conversation, and i wasn’t getting anything out of the relationship – only losing time i would be using for other things. so this past year i dropped one new friend (we’d been friends almost 2 years) and didn’t look back.. nothing was missed because there was truly nothing there to begin with. i still have to interact with her occasionally at work, but its very civil (she tries too damn hard though).
We took vastly different takes on a mutual friend’s divorce. I still think I was right…and I’m not changing my moral code to keep a friend who doesn’t treat me very well any way.
Yeah, this divorce was pretty one sided. Like my sided. And I am NOT giving her back her chapstick. She can go get a new one.
;)
When I was a kid, my mom used to do this Italian thing where she would just pat her hands together to mimic washing them and say she had HAD it. That meant someone was getting cut – immediately, swiftly, and without heartache. I have very little tolerance for toxic friends, and even less for situations that might harm my relationship. I say – CUT.
I have had to cut out friends because they are so emotionally draining. Our relationship got to the point that everytime I hung up the phone after talking to her I would be tense and exhausted. It was just plain too much work to try to maintain a relationship with someone who can suck everything out of you.
Life is too short for that! I understand completely!!
There are some things that you just don’t mess with…HUSBANDS are at the top of that list! If you can’t trust your friends, who can you trust?
I’ve lost a few good friends in the past year. I was tired of being the only one making an effort in the relationship. I was the one always calling to see what was going on. I wasn’t being included in group events/outings. I stopped calling/texting as a test to see if they’d realize what was happening. They didn’t. Haven’t talked to them in over a year. Their loss!
I’ve heard that life goes in seven year cycles…and that it’s natural for things to change and shift every seven years…and with people you can shift and change together…or you can shift and change apart..
I recently unfriended my (ex) best friend…I was in her wedding, was the first friend to hold her newborn, and we were practically joined at the hip..
But then I realised that I wasn’t my own person. I couldn’t make decisions, because SHE always made them for me. She told me what to do, where to go and how to do it…and I just followed along because…well..that’s what I had always done. Then I moved away for a year. Met new people, grew up and realised that I could be my own person…and when I came back..she was pissed..because things weren’t exactly the same..I no longer spent every spare moment at her house doing what she wanted me to do (which, by the way, sometimes included cleaning her bathrooms – WTF?!) and I spoke up when I didn’t like something…I no longer liked who she told me to like, refused to see someone just because she didn’t like them or even go places just because she didn’t want to or didn’t want me to…I talked about going away again to travel and she told that she thought I was being selfish and couldn’t leave her again….and then she told me that she was going to have another baby, so that I would HAVE to stay, because i ‘love babies’…WHO HAS A BABY TO TRY AND MAKE A FRIEND STILL BE THEIR FRIEND?! A few months before the final demise..she told me that there was NO way that I could ever not be friends with her, because I loved her son too much. I do love her son, and I do love him dearly and think about him every day..but being in a toxic, manipulative friendship wasn’t healthy – it just isn’t, and as much as I love her child…being in his five year old life meant being in hers..and I couldn’t anymore. I realised that when I wasn’t around her, I LIKED me, and when I was with her…I didn’t like me. She played with my mind to make me fall into old habits where I put myself down, talked badly about myself and felt like crap about the person I was…and did this all without ever making herself seem like she was putting these thoughts in my head. I had been upset and wanting out for a long time..and I tried to just let things naturally disentigrate..we had nothing in common anymore..our conversations were nothing but pure, fluff – and not even good fluff, just STUPID fluff….but she wouldn’t let me go..and just kept trying to ‘make it work’ – which I didn’t want at all..the final straw for me was when she continually bad mouthed a friend of mine..about her wedding..when I was the maid of honor..just to try and make herself and her own wedding look and seem better…I just snapped and realised that I couldn’t do it anymore..
I swear, I could go on and on…but look up examples of emotional abuse…and that was basically the entirety of our ten year friendship.
And no – you’re not out of line – shit like that shows character, and you deserve more than that.
That sucks about your friend. And it’s obvious to me that she probably didn’t have many friends outside of you.
I recently had to cut a very dear friend out of my life because she hates my husband and talked nasty about him whenever we were together. It got old since I happen to love my husband.
Also, she had lesbian tendencies and wanted to get with this. Which makes the whole friend thing a bit awkward.
Yes, ma’am. Get rid of her. Hitting on your husband is NOT COOL and completey unacceptable and THANK GOD your husband feels the way he does about you and didn’t fall for her advances. My ex-best-friend did EXACTLY what this woman did and got defensive when I approached her… let’s just say she’s my children’s step-mother now. Blech.
OMG. THAT is my worst fear ever. That’s why I will cut a bitch. Me no sharo (that’s Spanish for I don’t share).
WHAT! OMG I am enraged for you!
Your situation raises a serious red flag due to my own experience but every situation is different. And though mine was a blessing in disguise (I’m in a MUCH better place now than when married to that piece of trash), I will have trust issues for the rest of my life. It’s my kids (13 and 10) that have to live with knowing what they did day in and day out. I can only hope they learn from my happiness and strength to stand on my own two feet. PS – loooove the Curvy Girl Guide and cannot thank you ALL for the development of such a phenominal environment!
I say good for you!
Life is too short to have stinky mess’s in our lives.
I recently had to get rid of a friend. I stood in her wedding despite my doubts. Only to find out she had been cheating and the final straw was her stripping and doing sexual favors for men… for money! While this is an extreme, that was definitely a stinky mess I did NOT need corrupting my life anymore.
Totally not out of line.
There are two sets of thinkers on this topic. There are those who feel obligated to continue to entertain people that have been at some point and for some reason deemed “valuable,” despite that the same people now make them miserable. Guilt? A fear of burning bridges? The status quo? Who knows why. In my case, my husband and I did this with his mother for years. She hated me, she wanted my husband all to herself because she was lonely and miserable and dependent, and so she manipulated and put a wedge smack in the middle of our happy family.
It was over a year ago now, when we were on the brink of actually considering divorce, that we realized most of the things playing a negative role in our marriage were completely unrelated to us! We loved each other. We got along pretty damn good, actually. We knew why we got married. We were a team. But, it’s hard, nearly impossible, to focus on those things when other people are constantly trying to pollute you.
So, we became members of the second group of thinkers. Those who have taken control of their surroundings and will, as you say, cut a bitch to preserve their livelihood. Childhood friends. Coworkers. Communities. And even, and though it sucks, family.
I did the same thing about 6 years! A friend was getting to friendly with my husband, and I immediately cut her from my life.
It’s the smart thing to do.
You did the right thing! Don’t give it a second thought.
I’ve wondered if I did the right thing by cutting my best friend/roommate from my life too…. she started dating my boss, while he was still married, and asked me to keep it a secret. Then told me I was being a bad friend when I said I really thought they should wait until he was divorced to start anything. Can you say AWKWARD to wake up in the morning, walk out your bedroom door and have your boss standing there!
Good for you!!! I would’ve done the exact same thing – and I had ZERO idea that our hometown hated you!
Yeah, I guess they don’t like it when you list the names of everyone you’ve made out with and then describe it. ;)
And by they – I mean their wives and sisters.
And by don’t like it – I mean the Corn Fest should be extremely interesting this year.
I love this. And not just because I witnessed the actual event of which you speak go down.
This past year, I have done a lot of cutting from my life, both friends and family. I was devastated at first. But, i learned so much about myself, and have never been happier. Andy and I have built a tight family of friends that we love, trust and keep close to our chest.
Life is short. Live it for yourself.
I love your comment Brittany – Live It For Yourself is spot on.
I recently had to cut a friend out of my life as well. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. She decided to go back to school and get her RN. I knew when she started back to school we wouldn’t have as much time to get together as we used to. I didn’t think that we would have NO time together. We used to be inseparable. I understood school was important and time consuming. However, I discovered that she was managing to spend time with her school friends outside of school and other mutual friends of ours without including me.
After being lied to repeatedly, I finally had to cut ties. What I discovered looking back is that whenever I was in a relationship, she would withdraw after a while. Now I’m not one of these people who forget all my friends when I am in a relationship. I can’t stand it when people do that and always make it a priority to maintain friendships outside my relationship. When I was single, she and I would do everything together. When I would start seeing someone, we still spent a lot of time together at first. Then slowly, I’d see less and less of her. Until my most recent relationship (over 2 years now), I never dated any one guy for long. She would be the first to bad mouth one of my ex’s. I truly think that when my current boyfriend and I got together she could sense that this relationship was different and that he wasn’t going anywhere. She tried on more than one occasion to plant doubts about him in my mind. She was happy when my relationships failed and didn’t like that this one wasn’t failing.
We never had a blowout. I simply stopped trying to contact her and took her off my facebook, email list, etc. I hear from time to time from mutual friends that she talks badly about me. Frankly, I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve seen her do this to other people. Part of me wanted to confront her, but I decided it just wasn’t worth it and there’s nothing to gain from it. So while it stings a little, I’m much better off without her in my life.
Heck no don’t even give it a second thought…My now ex-husband which we had been together for 14 years since 8th grade had an affair on me with my best friend. The affair had been going on for a year when her husband cought the them at our house. I stayed after that for 2 years then decided to cut him out of my life as a husband, He is still in my life because we did have one child together. But it was hard to cut her out something that I should have done a long time ago. But I look at it this way she probably done me a favor. But anyways yea I would still like to….cut a bitch!!
The first line of the first blog I ever wrote was to a new acquaintance, ” I just got out of a bad friendship and I am not sure I am ready for anything serious right now..” I HONESTLY thought I was the only one this has happened to (that’s what i get from moving outta the big city) anyhow,sorry for your loss but I’m available…just sayin….and no way would your DH ever find me cute so should be ok…also I still have a school-girl crush on my guy – even after 14 years together…so let me know if want to get together, if you know what I mean….
I could write an entire book on this! I have un-friended two very close friends in the past year. One for 14 years of all-around bitchtasticness and for being a shitty friend. She blogged about how much she disagreed with my marriage and bad-mouthed my husband (after she was in my wedding). Even after this, I still found her a place to live (with my brother) when she cheated on her boyfriend & had nowhere to go. Then when she screwed by brother over with rent & made him have to move back in with our parents, she couldn’t understand how i could tell her to fuck off and never speak to her again.
My other friend just lied to me. she was dating some stranger that she met online for 3 months & lied to me & our other friend about it every day. When we found out, we were really more concerned with her safety (there are crazy people on this internet) than the lying part, but she got mad that I was hurt. She is still friends with our other friend, but refused to come to the baby shower that I threw for our mutual friend because i was hosting it. But she’s coming to my brother’s wedding in 3 weeks, so now our mutual friend w/ the baby is even more hurt.
Long story short, I’d rather be your friend. You can’t have toxic people in your life. They just bring you down. & if some hoebag tried to get with my husband, i would most definitely go all ape shit on her ass. you did the right thing.
You are definitely doing the right thing. Good for you, standing up for yourself and your family. A true friend would never do that!
A clean cut heals quickly.
about three days ago i had to finally cut my best friend from age one from my life. this girl was one of my favorite people in life and yet she is the queen of drama.
i start dating my boyfriend? i’m a “selfish” person.
boyfriend and i move to nyc together? I’m “ditching” her.
my breast cancer scare? absolutely no contact from friend
i could go on and on. the topper? receiving a hate-filled passive lengthy email about how disrespectful and horrible i am. one breakdown later and she is out of my life, as hard as that is.
ugh, i hate friend break-ups!
Dude. I got rid of a friend for the same exact reason. She always seemed way more interested in getting my husbands attention when she was at our house than hanging out with me. I thought I was being insecure at first, but it kept happening. Friends should not make you feel that yuck feeling. EVER. Good for you, Mer. XOXO
Good for you – I think people often hesitate in making big decisions like that out of fear or hesitancy, but if it’s what you feel is right you should definitely just do it.
Don’t regret your decision. Stick with it.
I am a single divorced mom as we speak because of the exact SAME situation. Except I said nothing.
Now my ex-husband lives with my ex-best friend in our giant old house. They get my kids on the weekends and have a wonderful life…and I live in a crappy apartment struggling to make ends meet with the kids on the weekdays…ALONE.
She was so subtle at first.
And he’s a douchebag obviously…
I’m proud that you said something. Nipped it in the bud. Fought for your family. She isn’t your family any more simply because she’s a threat to it’s well being and foundation.
KUDOS.
UGH! I hate your ex-husband and your ex-best friend! THIS is my biggest fear. I was cheated on before, so I have to try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know I have trust issues thanks to an old boyfriend.
But when you start asking my husband to help you zip up your dress and send him text messages – you can go to hell.
I don’t disagree with your choice to end the relationship at all. But I worry about you saying things like “I won’t let her have my husband” because it implicates him in the scenario, as if a) she would ‘win’ him and he would allow it, or b) you feel as if she’s likely to ‘win’ him in comparison to you. I doubt, from what you said, either is true. I just think the friendship needed to end because she was lacking trust, integrity and sensitivity.
My own BFF break-ups have largely come down to one reason, only: some women are just crazy bitches. The most recent one, last year, fucked anything that walked, despite being married, never told a single truth, spoke about everyone behind their back and told everyone in some way that she loved them. And never did a single thing that she said she was going to.
Come to think of it, that sums up all but one of the break-ups I’ve instigated, except for one. That one called CPS on me a week later.
I like your point on the letting her “win” my husband. You’re right, I don’t think he would ever let her win. However, I am insecure due to the fact that I have been cheated on in the past by an old boyfriend. I guess you live and learn, and this time, I learned that I don’t even want the temptation to ever be there.
Calling CPS on you? SO NOT COOL! What a BITCH! That girl needs a throat punch for sure.
Oh, I’ve done more than my fair share of “phase outs.” If morally or ethically we are not on the same page? You’re out. You bore me? You’re out. You’re an idiot? You’re out. I’m tough on my friendships but you know what? My friendship? Is worth it.
I want to be your friend so hard right now.
Crazy 1: accusing a mutual friend of rape, to the cops and not ever apologizing or admitting she was wrong to do it. Cops cleared him completely (not in town) and she admitted it never happened.
Crazy 2: had a one-night-stand, did not use protection and refused to get the morning after pill because if she got pregnant it would mean they were meant to be together and would get married.
Crazy 3: She won’t vaccinated her baby. I do agree in a mother’s prerogative to do what’s best for her baby, I am immune compromised and she doesn’t understand how I can’t be around her kid. I tried to keep the friendship online… But no she couldn’t/cant believe her kid could ever pass anything onto me and would belittle me for being crazy.
You win in the Crazy Friend contest! WOW!
All I know is I love you Ducky…..and I can cut a bitch also…..
Casting director of your life? Best phrase ever. Thank you!
i know, right! i’m totally gonna steal it :-)
I worked out my friendship cycle is 7years. I am in that year now and find myself less tolerant of petty bulls**t than I was 7years ago. I dont like feeling used by friends,yet I let it happen all the time. Around year 7 I wake up and smell the coffee and tell whoever is doing it enough. Almost like supernanny “this is your one warning. Do it again and your in time out “
The curious side of me would love to know why someone who had been so close to you for so long would think it was OK to flirt with your husband.
But the pragmatic side of me thinks, fuck it, Doesn’t matter why. There are lines in friendships that you do not cross and she went over that line. I would cut ties with anyone who got too cozy with my husband. Buh-bye, bitch.
You did the right thing.
I can’t believe how many slugs there are that don’t value friendships- I’m floored at all the whores out there hitting on married men!
You definitely did the right thing.
I just ended things with one of my best friends (or at least, I felt that way on my end) because as I’ve gone through one of the worst years of my adult life, she was so selfishly absorbed & did not reach out to me at all. When she did, things were so petty, it was like since I couldn’t “be there for her all bubbly and fun” what was the point of her being there for me? It made me so mad and after months of this back & forth dance, I had enough.
You did the right thing.
Hi Marie, That is what got me too; the friend who you try to be there for and be compassionate for (she complains a lot!) which is ok , but when really horrible things happen in your own life (such as deaths, major illnesses etc) she couldn’t care less. I tried to back away from this friend because I did not like how I was feeling (miffed!) when around her, but she tracked me down recently and completely surprised me by asking me to be bridesmaid? I know I can not honestly do it considering how I feel about her (it is at a point that I feel horrible talking to her)…… I do have to have a cup of concrete and be honest! I really do not want to spoil her wedding :(
I recently ended a friendship.
A long time ago, my fiance committed suicide.
This platonic friend, came into my life well after that tragedy.
We became friends. He told me he was suicidal. I shared my history and begged him to seek help.
We became really deep friends. My family adopted him as one of their own. We spent inordinate amounts of time together and had a great time. Except…
When he was upset – which was a lot – he threatened suicide. He would bemoan my “history” and how it affected him. I felt betrayed by him on many levels but live in terror of a repeat. So, we remained friends.
After years and years of this, I finally shared this secret and unloaded all of my stress on another good friend. She listened patiently and offered her support. Gently she said, what I already knew, “you are being manipulated”.
My fear turned to slow anger. About 4 weeks later I avoided his calls and attempts to communicate.
Two weeks after that, I called and calmly explained that I was not interested in remaining friends with him. I was no longer interested in being treated the way he chose to treat me.
That was it. I am still fearful but I know (and trust me, I’ve known all along but lived in fear instead) that I cannot live this one part of my life like that.
What do you do when that person is your sister? She’s not hitting on my man but good god she takes so much energy and makes me all bitter every SINGLE TIME I speak to her! UGH!
The final straw started for me to cut a former friend out was when she slept with my “very special party friend” (he didn’t know at that point I’d had these plans for him, but had he known, I found out the next day, things would be quite different) She knew my intentions and when I drunkenly burst into tears (and I’m not a drunk crier) she didn’t stop flirting with him or making out with him in front of me and proceeded to take him home.
She tried to apologize, which I found difficult to believe, but I tried to forgive her. Then she told me I was being a judgmental, self centered, bitch and ultimately I realized this was just the final action in a long line of toxic to me behaviors I didn’t want to excuse anymore. (I could list out the other actions, but this was about the last straw.)
Sometimes I miss her, but in all reality, I’m much better off without her Hot Mess in my life.
Erm… I don’t know what a ‘very special party friend’ is, but I think I want one, lol
I had to cut my BF of 16 years last year. She made many snide remarks about what a bad wife and mother I am. At first I chocked it up to PMS and let it go, after all that’s a lot of years to throw away. Then the remarks continued to get worse and extended to my family members and other friends. When I had just seperated from my husband last fall, I found out that she was hanging out with him and my daughter behind my back. At that point, I stopped contacting her all together. I refuse to surround myself with people that are anything less than loving and supportive at this point in my life.
I feel like I recently dropped all of my friends. Ever since I had to separate myself from my best friend in the beginning of college (she became toxic for me) I haven’t had another one. I’ve increasingly started to be come aware of feeling like I put waaaay more into my friendships then my friends do and that we’ve all grown apart. I decided to pull back a bit and the result is that I haven’t heard from any of them in over 2 months. The good news is that i’ve become a lot closer with my siblings, including my soon-to-be sister-in-law (whom I love to death), and become friendly with their friends. The bad news is I’m feeling lonely and really wish I had a friend who I could just call or text when I got bored or feel like doing something one night. I feel like at 22 I shouldn’t have this problem, and because I’m done with school and don’t like going out alone, I don’t really know how to make new friends…
throw. down.
i echo brittany… you gotta cut where you gotta cut and keep lookin’ ahead chick-a-dee.
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I met a woman 3 yrs ago at work and she became a best friend very quickly. We went to the same church and live near each other in the same subdivision so we began walking together daily too. We also were the same age and came from similar Italian backgrounds. I married my husband in college and she’d been married a few times and was married to a 72 yr. old guy who was very rich and treated her like a little girl. I have kids and she couldn’t have kids and I even made her godmother for one of my kids because she said she wanted to be in a childs life. I adopted my kids and she could have too but she only wanted birth kids. As time went on she started on trying to change everything about me. She wanted me to have her pick out for me new glasses because she hated the ones I’d chosen. She gave me a haircut at her stylist for my birthday because she hated my hair. She and the stylist decided I should become a redhead-I’m blond. She’s a size 2 and I’m a 10 and she constantly told me what I should eat. I am a mom. I don’t need a mom. One of my sisters had died tragically a yr. before I met this woman and I was probally trying to replace Marie in my life. This new friend also lied to me about a seperated friend of hers and I invited her to meet my brother in law and this woman was not a nice person and looking for a free ride and is now his wife. My nieces blame me for bringing that witch into their life. I felt like I had become this woman’s project. She’d say she was just wanting me to be better. Her friends and I had nothing in common. They were out of my league financially and had husbands the age of my dad. As I grew to know her I saw that she heavily criticized each of her friends behind their backs. My husband considered her and her husband to be toxic. 2 Of my kids are chinese and adopted and her husband got drunk at a holiday party and made some racial statements about them. That was it. I just decided to let the friendship go away by not taking calls, etc. She started attacking me to anyone who would listen so I called her and told her what her husband had said. She defended him so I told her basically to # off and ended the friendship. I still see her and she does this fake hello and haven’t seen you. It gets even better, she put her foot out in the hall on a bus and tried to trip my other sister recently. I just wish she’d never speak to me again.
So, this a little late, but I’m sort of back reading all your blogs (wow that sounded a little stalkerish!, but I’ve had alot of down time at work the past week) because you rock! In case you were wondering 3 months later, YOU ARE RIGHT! I failed to cut a BFF (also the maid of honor at my wedding) out and she and my husband had sex! Me and the hubs have worked it out, which is a hellish painful heartwrenching process. The friend, I had to let go, because sometimes you just have to choose yourself over a crazy friend.
I am going to run and hug my friends now as it seems I have the best ones around! <3
I’m really not a people-person and there are precious few relationships that I feel are worth maintaining (just family mostly).
I have had a few very close friendships that have ended for one reason or another. My longest and closest hasn’t ended, but due to my moving, it has now become a long-distance friendship. Our lives have grown apart (naturally) and while I certainly don’t feel the need to end it, we are no longer as close as we once were.
I am working on building a friendship now, with a neighbor that my sweetie introduced me to. We have a lot in common, despite a 20-year age difference (she is older than I) and we really seem to like each other.
Because I have quite a cavalier attitude towards relationships (and friendships in particular) it is rather easy for me to cut people out of my life. No regrets. I believe that people come into (and out of) your life for a reason, though we may not know what that reason is, at the time.
A friend trying to steal my husband would be a very good reason to cut her out. I’m glad that your husband didn’t give in to her pressure and that your family has been able to remain intact.