5 Things You Should Be Doing, But You’re Probably Not

There’s always something “experts” tell women that we should or shouldn’t be doing.

“Don’t take yourself too seriously,” and ”do think of yourself as important” are both nuggets of sage advice, but the ideas kind of contradict themselves in their approach to what you should be doing. What is it, exactly, that women should be doing to make our lives easier to live? What are five simple things we can do for ourselves that make us better people?

Here are five easy things to think about…

1. Don’t Deny Yourself Pleasure
OOOOO-la-la… Yes, like that, but also in other ways. I’ve written about putting my own needs ahead of my family’s. By putting yourself and your needs ahead of your family’s, you’re giving your family the best of yourself. Like I tell my husband, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy,” and that’s true to a point. I’m not saying “Forget the kids and run off to Jamaica with the barely-legal pool lifeguard!” As much as we may want to do that from time-to-time, it’s not realistic and not good for your family. Putting your needs first means treating yourself to a pedicure, getting a donut every once in a while when you’re grocery shopping, having sex (and have it YOUR way) more than you have been. It’s okay to find a little happiness for yourself. Don’t deny yourself from finding that pleasure.

2. Go To the Movies Alone
If you’ve never gone to the movies alone, I think you’re missing out on one of life’s little gems. For one thing, YOU get to pick the movie you’re seeing. If you’re in the mood for a sappy chick flick or a sub-titled foreign film (with a shirtless Spanish actor), you don’t have to convince someone else to go with you. Plus, it’s cheaper! You don’t have to find a baby$itter for the kids and then buy TWO ticket$ for yourself and your date. If you don’t want to miss out on time with your kids, head out to the movie theater after the kids have gone to bed and your husband is home on the couch watching a boring baseball game or military history show.

3. Order Dessert
Every so often, order dessert when you’re out to eat, and don’t feel guilty about it. It really is okay to treat yourself to a sweet indulgence every now and then. Make sure you don’t look at the Nutrition Facts on the menu before you go out (as some of us like to do), because having that extra few (hundred) calories one time won’t force you up a jeans size. It will make you feel like you’ve done something nice for yourself, just because.

4. Ask for a Job
If you’re a person who is in the position to be an earner in your family, you probably want to have a job to make the money you need. If “law-abiding” is one of your personal descriptors, you probably want to make money doing something that won’t get you into trouble. That usually means a “real job.” Whether it’s teaching a gymnastics class, writing content for a website, or being a high-powered lawyer, you can make money legally. You may think that you have to wait for the job to find you or for you to find the perfect job listing on Monster.com, but that’s just not true. If you want to make money doing something you love, tell someone that you want to work for them. The job won’t come to you if you don’t tell the job you want it. Even companies that aren’t actively hiring will always pay attention to someone who wants to help them. Have some nuggets and ask for the job you want. What’s the worst that can happen?

5. Return Emails, Phone Calls, and Texts from Friends
This may seem like an innocuous piece of advice, but if it’s something you’ve been taking advantage of, you’ll think twice when you don’t return that phone call. Your friends call, email, and text you because they like you and want to hear from you. Ignoring their contact will not only make them feel bad, but it will make them feel unimportant to you. It’s really simple to send a text back letting your friend know you got their text and really easy to return a call or email. If everyone just returned 90% of their friends’ contacts, just think of all the peace our world would experience! Or at least it would make your friend feel better about you and themselves.

Now, go forth, do things for yourself.

The world needs more self-aware women.

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