Why I’ll Be Out of Town on Valentine’s Day
Oh Valentine’s Day, is there anyone you don’t make miserable?
I like to call it “Good Old VD”, like Venereal Disease, since they share some of the same qualities (alcohol, bad judgment, the need for medicine, the smell of desperation and sadness). It’s also been called “SAD” for Single Awareness Day.
Sad Single Awareness Venereal Disease day. Fabulous. Let’s get this party started!
Does anyone but a chocoholic even like Valentine’s Day?
We can blame Hallmark, advertising, and shopping malls, but we participate in the mercantilism of romantic love. As women we buy into this day expressly for us… only to feel bad about it.
One of my friends is fretting about what to give her man. He doesn’t care, I tell her. It isn’t for him. Men are told by women that they’re supposed to care, but they’re told by guys that they’re not supposed to care, unless it leads to sex. Guys just care about sex on Valentine’s Day, ladies! We can make that happen anytime!
Have you ever had a good Valentine’s Day?
I had one that was promising. My boyfriend came over with roses and chocolates. Not creative, but hit all the right Hallmarks (see what I did there?). Unfortunately, as soon as we turned our heads, my dog wolfed down the entire box of chocolates, and we spent the night in the emergency room of the animal clinic to get her stomach pumped.
That was my best Valentine’s Day. Seriously. That was the best one.
Being Single On Valentine’s Day = NOT FUN
Did you ever notice that there are few holidays in which it feels okay to be single?
I’m single, but heartbroken this VD. On Christmas we had already split, and the holiday made him so sad he showed up unannounced (with unwrapped presents) he’d obviously picked up at Walgreens. We stood in the door awkwardly, neither knowing what to say. So this Valentine’s Day, I think I am going out of town.
I think the only people excited about Valentine’s Day are couples, under the age of 25, in the first three months of their relationship. I know a guy who says he is taking his first girlfriend ever, a girlfriend of two months, out to dinner, bringing her home where he will have laid out candles and rose petals and a bouquet of red roses, champagne, and chocolates. In the bouquet will be three of her favorite movies that they will watch together. Oh for God’s sake, stop it. Puppy love isn’t love. Sooner or later puppies poop in your shoes. Or eat them.
I don’t care how liberated you are, it still stinks to hear other people say when are you going to get married, why haven’t you found a man, what’s wrong with you.
Ladies, This Day Makes Us Desperate
Valentine’s Day is a hollow reminder that you’d like a little love, too. You’re only human.
There’s so much pressure not to be alone on VD. As if being with an idiot is better than being alone? As if flowers and chocolate are some deep symbol of worth? Flowers and chocolate mean give me sex now please. It’s like an annual rehashing of my senior prom.
To avoid being alone, I know women who will accept dates they shouldn’t. For example, my friend accepted a date during which the guy told her:
1. He was married once. He went on a cocaine binge in Las Vegas and married an exotic Russian dancer. It was annulled.
2. He doesn’t date much because everyone assumes he’s gay. He’s only received ONE blow job from a man, and it definitely doesn’t make him gay!
3. He owns four guns which he keeps under his bed. Why? Because when the Armageddon comes, he wants to be ready! And no one is eating his ^&#!ing dog!
Really? It’s better to be on a date with this guy than to be home alone?
Let’s Rise Up Against This Lame Holiday!
Don’t let your boastful, in love, girlfriend make you feel like you live in Loserville: Population ONE! Send her an Anti-Valentine’s Day cards that reads, Roses are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Do What I Want, Do You?
They should sell pre-wrapped single-girl packages that include Bailey’s, Roses, Chocolates, and a Get Out of Work card. Single women should be allowed to lay around all day in our pajamas, drinking Bailey’s and eating our chocolate. The rest of you have to work on VD. After all, where else would your lover send your flowers?
This year, give all single your girlfriends pretty sugar. Not so they don’t feel sad, but as a rebellious act of love that says, I’d rather be single with good friends than married with a bad husband.
Be your best Valentine! Be your best friend’s Valentine! Bring her some chocolate and a martini. It will probably be more fun anyway. But if you’re looking for me, I’ll be out of town.
Pish Posh is a writer, teacher, humorist at the blog, Pish Posh. She is recently single and uses self-deprecating humor to chronicle the experiences of an over-educated, under-stimulated single writer who probably needs to drink less and exercise more. A transplant from the West Coast, she now lives in the heartland, and is laughing her way through it, one day at a time. You can also find her on twitter and Facebook.
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***WARNING: MALE PERSPECTIVE***
I always hated Valentine’s Day when I was with someone. The pressure is ridiculous. I spend so much energy trying to make sure I don’t screw it up, I do not enjoy it. I had a couple of years that I was with a girl that was pretty laid back and we enjoyed it. I still went all out for her, but knew she would be happy with my effort. I have never experienced that with anyone else. This is a much dreaded holiday and I am more than happy to be single during this time of year.
That’s how I feel about Christmas!
The pressure is SO ridiculous, but most of it is self-imposed. One year I went over the top and my wife said, “Wow, now I feel bad because I didn’t really get you much.” “This is too much? That’s great to hear! How much would’ve been just right?” And once I knew what was reasonable, VD became a snap.
Of course, it helps to be with someone who doesn’t act or think like J-Lo.
I’ve never really been into VD. I prefer the little things that you do all the time that show someone you care more than big, showy special occassions. Which is good because four years ago (almost to date), I came home to find my bf standing in the living room with his coat on. He’d already packed up his stuff. Said he was moving & he didn’t love me enough anymore to marry me. Harsh. A week later, I got flowers on Valentine’s Day from my nephews. They’d each written me a card. Best Valentine’s Day ever.
What a sweet gesture from your nephews. Very painful and harsh separation, but better to wait for the guy who loves you as much as your nephews :)
I wrote about this more extensively on my blog, and I’m not some huge Valentine’s Day fan (my husband and I stay in and make dinner together, and we exchange small token gifts) but this perspective makes me kind of sad…when I was single I used VD as a day for my girlfriends and I to get together over appetizers at one of our houses. Every year I send cards to my parents and grandparents to remind them, hey, I love you. It shouldn’t just be about significant others and either showering them with absurd gifts or lamenting the fact that you don’t have one. While I hate the Hallmark aspects (trust me, we don’t buy chocolate or out-of-season-roses or what not) I like to embrace a day that is about reminding EVERYONE in my life that I love them.
Well said!
I’m in the same boat as you this year, but decided that I would give someone else a good Valentines so I’m babysitting for some friends. A 2 year old, some giggling and playing, can’t ask for too much more.
Aww, that would be great too! Maybe that’s what I will do!
This is the first Valentine’s Day where I’ve actually had a boyfriend that gives a crap about me. I know he isn’t big on Valentine’s Day, so I made plans, then changed them, then made more, and changed them. We are a super low-key couple so everything seems too extreme for us. All we plan on doing is going to dinner (probably at a Chili’s) and get a hotel room since we never have alone time due to our living situations. We aren’t doing anything extreme…just spending quality time together. I’m super excited about it for the first time ever.
Sounds lovely!!
I am 40 and married. I love VD- always have, even when single. I don’t like when my spouse (current or ex) goes overboard on overpriced flowers though. what a waste. I prefer a lovely handwritten note (not a hallmark card). I have made this clear to my spouse and he obliges. :) I will always cherish these pieces of paper- even though most of what he writes are thoughts he expresses all year round.
I still – every year- buy childrens valentines and fill them out and give them to all of my friends/co workers. :) It’s fun and most everyone enjoys receiving one. This year i have 2 close g/f’s that are newly single, and I will most likely do something extra special for them- since both are going through hard divorces.
I love to love- and love to have a holiday for it. <3
You’re a better woman than me, el-Grincho right here!! :)
Hope you have a great love-holiday!!
You know my significant other and I do not go overboard on Valentine’s Day. We use the day as an excuse to go out for dinner and enjoy each others company as we do the rest of the year. However, I feel like I want to give you a big hug and personally do something to make you feel loved.
In my opinion, the last thing I would want to do is make anyone else feel bad about themselves on Valentine’s Day. I’ve been single many times before and I always took the day to watch cheesy chick flicks with friends and drink a bottle of wine. I don’t think anyone ever made me feel less than them because they weren’t single and I was. Of course, I would have loved to be in a relationship but I’d rather have been single than in an unhappy relationship.
What I’m trying to say is hopefully you will find someone someday who when they give you an over the top Valentine’s Day gift you’ll love it because you’re madly in love with them. This holiday can be as fun as you make it.
Very true!! I loved being with Antonio on Valentine’s day. Unlike a lot of women I do like flowers, and he got me a beautiful bouquet one year. And he was very good with the romantic gestures like that, little notes each day. The other stuff just didn’t work.
Thanks for your warm wishes!! I’ll take my single friends out for margaritas maybe or babysit :)
I too am single on Valentine’s day this year, but I love the day! Not for the puppy love, or the commercialization- I love to share it with friends or family. I have found over the years that VD is just more fun when you take it as a day to share with loved ones- relationship or not. I hope yours is just as you want it, be that simple and quiet, or fun and memorable! :)
Thanks Rylee and I hope you enjoy yours as well!! Thanks for your positive energy!!
great post! i’m married and i couldn’t be more “with you” on this post. VD stinks.
In more ways than one! :)
I know two folks who label their relationship as “a couple no longer romantically involved.” Moral?: Expect nothing and you’ll never be disappointed.
Expect nothing and sometimes you’ll get nothing too ;)
Are you part of the “two folks” by any chance?
I’ve always thought it’s really sad how Valentine’s day makes people feel bad about being single. Whether single or coupled, the point of the day for me has always been grabbing a heart-shaped box of chocolates and eating the whole thing, or half of the thing. Sometimes some flowers or a movie become involved if I’m with someone, but in my current relationship our half-anniversary is about a week before so it’s a bit of a tossup whether we celebrate the 8th or the 14th, resulting in not really a big deal for either one.
This Valentine’s Day, I’m going to get some heart-shaped licorice bits and chocolates and leave them in bowl in the department lounge. Everybody should be able to enjoy the day for some free candy, and what kind of special date are you going to have on a Tuesday night anyway?
Good point! I already hate Tuesdays anyway :)
You know what day I like? The day AFTER Valentines day. Because all the chocolate is 50% off.
Amen.
Haha!! Chocolate kisses go perfect in chocolate martinis, fyi…
From a Hallmark perspective, the Hub and I suck at VD. We don’t purchase overpriced out of season flowers or make gooey phone calls to each other at work. One year he bought “RoboTech” DVDs , although I don’t think they were a VD gift. He saw them and remembered Howmuch i loved the show as a kid. I ‘m totally ok with not doing anything to celebrate VD. We love and respect each other every day of the year – and isn’t that more important?
PS. I do hope this VD is a little different – I’m about 100 months pregnant and would love to at least be in labor come VD!
Good luck Val!! That would be the best VD present ever!!
I’ve never had really strong feelings about the holiday, other than to be sad for my friends who were feeling bad about being single.
My husband and I have sometimes gone out to dinner a day or few before [cuz ya know it's stupid-crowded the day-of!], and he gave me a fabulous gift on the 13th a few years ago, but if we celebrate, it’s usually ‘just’ extra cuddle time.
Plus, it’s his dad’s birthday, so we’ve celebrated that several years. ;-)
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