Adderall: Not Used as Directed

I was flipping through the morning talk shows the other day when a story on Adderall abuse caught my eye.

Adderall is a prescription drug used to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and narcolepsy.

This headline stopped me dead in my tracks, because I used to take Adderall, and not always as directed.

Before I dive into this, it’s important to note that many people use Adderall for legitimate purposes, as directed, and very responsibly. I am only here to share my personal experience with it and to discuss those instances when it is abused.

I have a wandering mind. Focusing does not come easy to me. It never has.

This did not bode well for me in school.

I like to joke that I was on the seven year plan in college. I blamed it on changing my major, transferring schools, and not having found myself. Really, I just didn’t have the ability to concentrate. I became overwhelmed easily and, most times, simply gave up on whatever assignment I had that night.

The results of this, as I’m sure you can guess, were dropped and failed courses.

Then one day I began hearing all about Adderall. Suddenly, this super student pill was all over the place. And it wasn’t just for school, anymore.

Do you want to party later and longer?

Take an Adderall.

Would you like to have one too many without feeling like you did?

Simple. Pop an Addy.

Need to pull an all nighter?

Adderall to the rescue.

Oh, and how could I possibly forget the extra side effect that came with it? A dream side effect for an insecure and curvy college girl, who loved a “number one with cheese” at two in the morning. Adderall is an appetite suppressant.

I started by bumming pills off some friends.

Then, I decided I would try and get my own prescription. This made my subconscious cringe, slightly. I mean, I knew I had ADD, but I also knew I liked the way Adderall made me feel. A little too much. It made me feel confident, like superwoman. And being that I was definitely one who like to party, it helped the party last longer.

I found a local psychiatrist and made an appointment.

I was positive he would run some sort of test, or have me return a few times, before sending me away with a prescription.

I was wrong.

Within fifteen minutes of meeting him, I had my very own, crisp prescription for Adderall. I called my friends and shared my excellent news. Within a few hours, I picked everyone up, we all took a magic little pill and hit the local college hangout. We stayed out too late.

I took one before school the next day and a funny thing happened. I paid attention in class for the very first time (other than in sex ed, of course). Towards the middle of the day, I start to feel the Adderall wear off. I felt cranky, irritable, and a bit sad. Hours before my next scheduled dose, I decided I should go ahead an take another one. I mean, I did have two more classes and a ton of homework that night. I needed it.

Later that night, I had done all my assignments and then some. I patted myself on the back and decided it was time to turn in for the night. The only problem? I was so wound up from all the Adderall that there was no way I’d be able to fall asleep. So, common sense told me to take a sleeping pill and drink a beer. And so that’s what I did.

This cycle continued straight through graduation.

I got excellent grades. Pretty much perfect.

I also felt wired all the time. I drank a beer, or took sleeping pill, to help me fall asleep at night. Never wanting to eat, I lost 30 pounds. At the time I thought this was wonderful, but I’m sure my body disagreed. Sometimes I stayed up all night partying with my friends. Sometimes I took too much Adderall and my heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest.

But, hey, I got good grades, right?

I finished my last class and, no longer needing it, decided that my body had been through enough. I stopped taking it, cold turkey. Physically, I felt sick for a week. Mentally, it took me while to feel like myself again.

Eight years have passed since my experience with Adderall. So, when I saw the segment on television the other day, it stopped me in my tracks. It seems things haven’t changed much.

College students are still taking it to get ahead. People are dealing it. Prescriptions are being flippantly written. It still shows up to party.

But, on the other hand, college kids are taking it and it’s helping their grades improve. It’s helping them to actually like school. Adderall, and medications like it, are a godsend to many people who otherwise wouldn’t have the ability to sit through a class, finish their assignments, or get any work done.

So, this is not me saying it should be pulled off the market – I know that every drug has the potential for abuse. I just think people should be more careful about it. It’s not something to play around with. It’s a serious drug and misusing it can have serious consequences.

But, I have no idea how else the negatives can be regulated or remedied. And, thankfully, it’s not up to me. Because here I sit, with my thoughts still scattered, my projects half finished, and as unfocused as ever. I’m still searching for a something to help me through all this. I’m just much more careful about what I put in my body this time around.

Maybe one of those non-stimulant medications is the answer.

Or, perhaps, I should just concede to the fact that my closet will forever be a disaster and that I will never get all those thank-you cards written.

Allison

Allison Zapata decided to start a blog at three in the morning, while up sobbing with her crying newborn. She loves to write, but doesn't call herself a writer. She doubts herself often, and is known to have mini-meltdowns on the regular. Allison is a chronic lounger and can be found, most days, in pretend exercise clothes, wasting time on Twitter. She loves music, animals, and ranch dressing. She holds a PhD in nothing, from nowhere, but still thinks someone should call her Doctor. Allison resides in Texas with her often embarrassed husband, two sons, two dogs, and one asshole cat.

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Tagged as: ADD, adderall, medicine